


Marital Bondage

by Morgana



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 20:35:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5063155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana/pseuds/Morgana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Getting married had been easy. Actually being married turned out to be something else entirely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Marital Bondage

Getting married had been easy. Dani had handled all the arrangements, so all he’d had to do was pay the bills, get a tux, and show up at the right place on the right day. And being married had been easy, too... at least, it was until the show ended. Then it turned into something else entirely.

Jensen had figured that being married to Dani wouldn’t be all that different from living with Jared. In hindsight, he marveled at the fact that he’d ever been dumb enough to believe that. He’d found out just how wrong he was his first week back in LA, when he’d gone looking for his favorite armchair, only to have Dani tell him that she’d donated ‘that old beat-up thing’ to Goodwill. Jensen had tried to like the leather chair she’d gotten him instead, but it just didn’t feel right. It didn’t give in the places his old chair had, didn’t know him like the other one had, and most of all, it wasn’t the chair Jared had insisted on buying him when Jensen had complained about how expensive new recliners were. The new chair wasn’t _bad_ , exactly, just... different.

For that matter, his whole house was different. There were a lot more throw pillows, a lot less comfy places to sit, and a lot more that he had to worry about smudging or accidentally breaking. Sometime around the third week (or maybe it was the fifth broken cherub statue), Jensen started to realize what was wrong - this wasn’t his home anymore. It was Dani’s. He told himself that was what he wanted, that he’d told her to do whatever she wanted with the place, but he couldn’t quite help wishing that maybe she’d left a room or two alone. Even the ‘mancave’ she’d created felt too shiny and new for him to really relax in it.

But this was what marriage was all about, right? Learning to live with someone, turning ‘your space’ into ‘our space’, making a home together, creating a place for the two of you. Jensen did his best to ignore the faint, disloyal thought that he hadn’t had to work at creating a shared space with Jared. He’d moved into Jared’s house and soon enough, it was like he’d been there forever, both of them slouching on the huge-ass sofa that Jared had plunked half a paycheck down on, drinking beer and watching whatever they felt like on TV. But those days were gone, finished the moment he and Jared both said ‘I do’ and turned their lives and homes over to their wives to manage. And if sometimes Jensen thought that Jared had gotten the better part of that deal, he wasn’t stupid enough to let anyone else know it.

He told himself that it didn’t matter if it took a little while to adjust to the house or the schedule that had Dani up and at the gym every day by seven or the vegetarian meals several times a week. It was just part of learning to actually be married and live in the same house, something every couple went through, that was all. Most people didn’t wait three years after the wedding to settle into it, and maybe the famous newlywed glow made the changes easier to handle, but then most people didn’t have to worry about shooting a TV show in another country. Jensen told himself he’d just have to try harder. He told his agent not to consider anything that would take him out of LA for more than a couple of weeks, signed up for Dani’s gym, and tried not to remember steak night at Jared's _too_  longingly when they had tofu and broccoli (again) for dinner.

Then Jared called to tell him that he was going to be a daddy.

God, a baby. Jensen’s chest felt tight just thinking about how much he wanted that. He loved Jared, was thrilled for him and Gen, but he was also eaten alive with jealousy. Just the thought of a wriggling, cooing baby, looking to him for guidance and love and protection... He could barely breathe when he thought about the pride in Jared’s voice, the way he’d said ‘daddy’, like it was the sweetest word in the world. Jensen wanted that, wanted to be someone’s daddy, but when he tried to bring it up with Dani, she let him no in no uncertain terms that she wasn’t about to have a baby anytime soon. Maybe in another five years, she said, but Jensen wasn’t sure he could wait that long. He wanted to have kids while he was still young enough to enjoy them, to play with them and swing them around, to be their _dad_ , not just the aging guy with the bad back who didn’t have the energy to keep up with them.

Which meant that Jensen had to decide what was more important to him - the baby that he wanted so desperately or the marriage that was supposed to make him happy enough not to care. He knew what the right choice was, what his Momma would say to do, and part of him agreed with her - he’d made a promise to Dani and he needed to keep it, no matter what. Marriage wasn’t something you walked away from just because it wasn’t a fairy tale. It was hard work and compromises and sometimes outright giving in to what the other person wanted. But in the end it was worth it. It had to be.

Didn’t it?


End file.
